A Keeper of Magic

Summer Solstice seemed like the right night to ask our oldest child if he wanted to be a Keeper of the Magic. It has been coming for some time now. And although we have never talked about whether or not fairies are real, I knew he still wanted to believe. But at Christmas time this past year when he cried and cried and cried at the end of The Polar Express (because he wanted to believe), I knew the time was coming when we had to honor the change that was beginning to happen in him. He needed some extra hands to support him and to help him to stand in his growing place of power.

On the Summer Solstice we always decorate a small corner of our garden for the Midsummer Fairies. Sometimes we leave ribbons, sometimes a bowl of milk, but usually we use shells, small flowers, and other tiny sticks to make a special space for them to gather for a flower festival. In the morning, the fairies always leave a stone for each of us and a flower trail.

This year after the youngest two were in bed, we invited our son to make the Keeper of the Magic Vow (as written and published in Shea Darian's Living Passages for the Whole Family):

"In the name of the Midsummer Fairies and Winter Solstice Gnomes, Bella Luna (our forest fairy), St. Nicholas, and the Tooth Fairy, I, Theodore, vow on this day, the
21st of June, 2010, to share the magic that has been so generously given to me. I promise to be the Keeper of the Magic for: my sister, Bea, my brother, Henry; my godsisters, Abi and Lucy; my little friends, Caleb, Joshua, Elizabeth; my younger cousins; and all the children everywhere who continue to believe."

"As my mother and father before me, I promise to keep alive the spirit of the Midsummer Fairies and the Winter Solstice Gnomes, Bella Luna, St. Nicholas, and the Tooth Fairy. I will carry the spirit of giving and magic within me, and promise to faithfully serve."

I was once again amazed at the power of simple rituals. My son cried all the way through this short vow. I wondered at whether or not this was the right time to offer this role to him. Was he too young? Did he still believe and I was crushing his belief?

No, I knew instictually that he needed this push. So that he could have a name for something that was already happening within him. Earlier that day my four year old asked us: "Are fairies real?" And when my older son said, "yes they are," and looked at me, I knew he knew something that he didn't want to speak about.

So, it was time to give him a new role. To make him a Keeper of the Magic. Besides he was already doing that and giving it a name seemed right and honorable.

I did wonder throughout his pledge why he was crying. Although he shares just about everything with me and I feel comfortable asking him questions, it didn't seem right for me to ask him, "why the tears?"

But just after we made a flower trail to those precious stones the fairies give us on Midsummer's Eve, and right before placing the final blanket over him as he climbed to sleep, he whispered to me, "Most of all I want to believe in the Tooth Fairy. I want her to be real." And then I understood why he was so full of tears.

I wonder if it is best to not discuss belief. Verbalizing it or discussing it seems to take away the magic. I think it is better to live it. I only get that now. I guess this is why I love being a Keeper of the Magic.

Are you a one too?
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Two of my favorite parenting books are Shea Darian's Sanctuaries of Childhood: Nurturing a Child's Spiritual Life and her latest Living Passages for the Whole Family: Celebrating Rites of Passage from Birth to Adulthood. Last year we used her Knighting Ceremony for our oldest son. Changes seem to happen at nine as a child's spirit begins to awaken, growing into youth. A Knighting Ceremony is to honor the awakening spirit and body. And it was loads fun. I like Shea Darian's work because it does not tell us how to parent but rather how to live in parenting, how to offer the magic, and how to keep the natural rhythms of life.