I am currently reading Michelle Paver's Spirit Walker in which Torak, the main character, describes the fire as an old friend that is always there. The setting is some ancient time when sitting around the fire served a real purpose: to cook, to warm, to gather as a clan.
I am sorry that today we don't have the daily ritual of meeting at the fire. Imagine it being a gathering place. Imagine it being as an old friend, always there. Imagine carrying a bit of fire with you wherever you journey like Torak on his quests. A fire carrier. Flame holder. A pilgrim.
There is something magical about fire. Each full moon I try to gather at a fire. Sometimes it is only the flame of a candle. Other times, I gather with friends outside for a fire circle to share what is alive in each of us: our dreams, our thoughts, our hopes, our pain. There is something about journeying to the fire, sitting near it, under the full moon, that connects us through time to the ancient rituals of our ancestors. Fire is ancient. Circles are soul food.
A few weeks ago I was learning about the kiln in my pottery class. How it works. How one has to watch the flame and heat carefully. It is a twelve hour process. The kiln is one big fire that needs constant attention.
When I glazed my plates, carefully choosing the color of the sea, I took it for granted that they would be the color I want them to be. I did not think much about the process just my creative product. I hope for blue and it will be blue, I thought. However, my instructor informed me that sometimes they come out differently from what you expect. The flame and the temperatures can't always be controlled. Fire is ancient and powerful. Fire is transforming.
I find some comfort in knowing that sometimes what I put in the flame (my glazed plate) or what I take to the flame (under the full moon) will not always turn out to be what I expect. Letting go of outcomes, hopes, ideals, this is the action of the flame. Living with the fire and what she offers is ancient. Her secret, still to be told, still to be revealed, is her magic, her hope, her message.
I love the full moon because it is the time of month when I get to live with the flame. I feel I am in an ancient time. I feel like Torak, sitting under a small shelter, protected from the drizzly rain, I offer something of myself to the flame, willingly, knowing that when I leave, I will probably not be what I expect to be. I live now, in this moment.
The circle of fire is open. I ask the fire to teach me her ways. I listen. I hope. I let go. I transform.
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Full moon this Saturday in this part of the world (GMT).
See Michelle Paver's Chronicles of Ancient Darkness. The first one is called Wolf Brother. The best novel I have read in a long time.
